Brock runs away plus other oneshots
by Inuyasha4ever1
Summary: Got the idea from Shadowxwolf's Sesshomaru goes to Pizza Hut and other tales. Except this series involves Brock, everyone's favorite Pokemon Breeder. I hope its kinda funny
1. Chapter 1

_I know this sucks but I was really bored. If you can suggest other ideas for oneshots, I would really appreciate it. .  
_

Brock runs away.

Brock was busy making breakfast as Ash and Dawn were too lazy. Ash, as usual, was busy polishing his collection of never-ending badges. Dawn was obsessing about her bed hair and Piplup was pissed off. Lately, Brock had been more easily annoyed because everyone else was too stupid to clean.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! AFTER THIS, I'M RUNNING AWAY!" He angrily swore in German, packed up his backpack with a bottomless pit, wrote a note to everyone else, and left.

At first Brock thought about returning back to the camp, but after remembering about the time when Ash stripped naked and danced the Macarena, he decided to continue on. Along the way, Brock had to face countless women who for some reason, wanted to bear his children, and went hula-dancing with Crogunk at a deserted bar.

He suddenly had the urge to sing a song.

"I'm going to sing a song!

I am so smart!

I am so smart!

Ash is a fag!

Ash is a fag!"

Brock chuckled. "Man, I'm good!"

Suddenly, an alien appeared! Brock shrieked like a girl and climbed a tree.

"E.T. phone home!" the alien screamed. It searched Brock's backpack (he dropped it on the ground when the alien appeared).

"What the hell are you doing? Get out of my stuff!" Brock took out a bazooka. "Don't make me shoot you!"

"E.T. run now." E.T ran off into the woods, only to be killed by a herd of Staravia's.

Brock scratched his head. "That was very disturbing. I'm heading back." So he did just that.

--

"Where is that guy?" Dawn wondered.

"Don't ask me! Who am I, a weather man?" Ash stated. They started to solve the problem by beating each other up.

Brock had just returned to the camp when he saw Ash and Dawn beating the crap out of each other.

"….I'm not going to ask." Brock immediately started to practice his flirting routine.


	2. Brock gets a tattoo

_Brock Gets A Tattoo _

_Lol, I hope this one is better. _

Ash, Brock, and Dawn had just entered Pastoria City. Ash was eager to beat Crasher Wake and be on his way, while Dawn just wanted to go shopping.

"I'm going to beat Crasher Wake!" Ash jumped up and down like he was on drugs. Dawn sighed. _Men. They are so immature. _

"Your hurting my ears Ash! Shut up! OOOO! A tattoo parlor!" Brock ran over to the tattoo parlor, which was just by the Pokemon Center. It was a small building, so naturally it was a surprise that Brock even spotted it at all. Ash approached Brock, attempting to reason with him.

"I want a tattoo! Please pretty please with a cherry on top?!" Brock begged Ash while on his knees, wearing a puppy dog expression on his face.

"No Brock! No! Bad Brock! You can get cancer and die! Yes Brock can!" Ash told Brock as if he were a cat.

"But Assssh! I want a tattoo!" Brock threw a tantrum, which for some reason ended with him taking off his pants and throwing them across a nearby lake.

"If Ash says no, he means no!" Dawn finally lost her temper and started to punch Brock in the face. Brock cried. "I don't like you new mommy!" He ran inside the tattoo parlor.

"Oh God. What is going to happen now." Dawn thought aloud.

"Who knows. Its not going to be pretty I can tell you that." Ash responded while calling his therapist.

--

Brock entered the parlor. Everything was overpriced but he didn't care. He wanted to look cool and impress the chicks. For some reason, "Achy Breaky Heart" was playing on the radio. Different designs were displayed on the walls. On the far side of the room sat a hillbilly. He looked like Lt. Surge from Vermillion City but not as ugly. He was wearing a torn checkered shirt and worn jeans. Brock noticed a large stack of books beside him. One of them was a book called _"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull_". "Hahahaha! You look like Larry the Cable Guy!" Brock laughed.

"Shut up turd! Are you here for a tattoo or not?" he snarled while trimming his toenails.

"I want a tattoo!" Brock yelled at the top of his lungs. He pointed to a design featuring a guy in a thong walking on the beach with countless women staring at him. "I want that one!" He held out his arm. "Stick the needle in me, brother!"

"Whoa, kid. You got to be eighteen or older. You eighteen?" the tattoo man started to drink beer.

"Yeah yeah. Just stick the needle where it needs to be stuck!" Brock sat down in the chair.

The man sighed. "You're the boss."

--

After what seemed to be forever, Brock left the tattoo parlor, with a new tattoo! He tried to find Ash and Dawn, but no luck. He tried the dance club, the bar, the movie theater, even the preschool, but no sign. Sighing, Brock sat on a bench. A woman walked by. _Sweet! A chick! _He approached her. "Hey look! I got a tattoo! Want to go out some time, sweet cheeks?" He started to rub her butt. She just turned around, angrily, and slapped him.

"You pervert! Go to the bar! I'm sure that dancers are there!" She left.

--

While Brock was trying to show everyone his new tattoo, Ash and Dawn were trying to find the guy.

"Brock! Where are you! I got food!" Ash yelled. Dawn slapped him.

"Idiot! That won't work! Oi! Brock! We found a cop!" Dawn shouted to the world. Suddenly, Brock was standing in front of them.

"Hey guys! I got a tattoo! Look!" He showed them his tattoo. Dawn turned red while Ash just laughed. Brock started to cry again. "What?"

"Brock, that has got to be….the most indecent image I have ever seen!" Ash struggled through laughter.

"Well, your ugly!" Brock started to taunt Ash about being the world's burden and that he would never get married.

"Shut up Brock!" Ash kicked Brock in the family jewels. "Come on Dawn. Let's go shopping."

"Yay!" She and Ash hurried to the mall, leaving Brock on the sidewalk in pain.

_Lol I know this sucked. Please be honest in your reviews. And if you can offer ideas for future one-shots, I would appreciate it._


	3. Brock goes on his First Date part 1

_Enjoy . I don't own Pokemon, though I wish I owned Takeshi XD jk jk_

Our favorite heroes just left Pastoria City. Ash had beaten Crasher Wake, by using Pikachu to kick the crap out of Wake's Pokemon. Lately Dawn was acting emo because she hadn't won any ribbons since the Wallace Cup. Brock, meanwhile, was just in his own little fantasy world, where he was the King of Kanto and had thousands of slaves. After what seemed to be forever, they finally decided to stop and rest.

"Man, I'm beat!" Ash had a habit of stating the obvious. "Is there a river or somewhere for me to wash off?"

"Not for a ways, Ash. You just have to be patient." Brock stated, while playing with Happiny. _Will this Happiny ever evolve? _he wondered. Suddenly, he started to cry.

"What's wrong Brock? You haven't been this sad ever since the time you found out that your dad was a filthy hobo." Ash looked at his friend with concern. Of course Ash wanted to do something to cheer Brock up, but after what happened last time, when he started to reenact Naraku's death, Ash had stopped trying.

"No! It's not that!" Suddenly Crogunk wandered over to Brock, wondering where its dinner was. Suddenly it found itself being used as a tissue by his Trainer. Crogunk was obviously pissed off, so he gave Brock a Poison Jab in the back before wandering off into a nearby clearing, hoping to meet chicks.

After Brock got over the pain of being stabbed, he continued to explain his problem. "You know, Ash, you're a chick magnet. All the chicks want you. But no one wants poor old Brock. They say 'Oh my God! That's the guy with no eyes!" After this, Brock ran over to a tree and started to bang his head on it. Dawn couldn't help but look up from her ribbon case and feel sorry for him. Suddenly, Ash had an idea. _Its my best one yet! _He walked over to Brock and sat down in the dirt.

"I know a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. Want me to arrange a blind date?" Ash already knew who it was, but he didn't tell anyone on account of promising her that he wouldn't.

"Of course I want a date! Hook me up with the latest chick!" Brock stopped banging his head on the tree but started to run around it, screaming that he was king of the world.

"I'm glad you feel better." Ash took out a cell phone and called his friend, praying that she would agree to a blind date.

--

It was the day of the date. Of course, Brock was very nervous. So nervous, in fact, that he had stopped flirting with every woman the group encountered. Both Ash and Dawn noticed this, but they ignored it.

"Does this outfit make me look like one of those club dancers?" Brock frantically asked while turning around continually.

Dawn and Ash burst into laughter. Ash laughed so hard, in fact, that orange soda came out of his nose. Dawn fell onto the ground, clutching her sides to keep them from exploding.

"Its not funny! You two are mean!" Brock pouted. Suddenly, he caught sight of a girl in the distance. She looked around Dawn's height. She was wearing a striped shirt with a collar. On her head was a bandana. She wore a pair of dark red sweat pants and sneakers.

Brock gasped. "Oh my God! Its you, May!"

May came running up the path. She was older than he remembered, but she still had that childish personality. Once she saw Brock in a tuxedo, she started to laugh. "Hey Brock! Didn't expect to see ya'll here!"

Brock leaned in angrily towards Ash. "Ash! May is my blind date?" Steam came out his ears.

Ash sighed. "Yes. May is the blind date. She broke up with Drew. Don't know why. I never liked him."

Brock sighed. _This is going to be a long day. _

_This is the first part of a two-shot. I know this one wasn't as funny as the previous two. But trust me. It will get funnier. Didn't expect this short to drag on that long. Please still review. ._


End file.
